The First Five Days
Ground Zero:
I came home from work on Friday afternoon to discover Karen's nude, mutilated body.  
She had been brutally murdered--cut and stabbed.  There was blood everywhere.  I
immediately called 911 and met the policeman on the front porch.  I recall seeing a
squad car pull up, and a policeman appearing in front of me, but nothing in between.  I
took him into the house and up the steps to show him what I'd found.  I was escorted
immediately out to the front porch.  Other police were already arriving, and I was asked  
when I had arrived home.  I remember looking at my watch for the first time since
getting home, and not being able to tell time. So I told them I had just gotten there, and
that I knew I had left the office at 3:30pm at the earliest, and probably a little later.  I
was asked a lot of other questions, too, but it's all a little blurred in my memory.  I do
remember--clearly--still standing on the front porch and telling them--not asking them--to
find my children.   

The First Hour:
I was placed in a squad car in the front yard.  It was about 45 minutes before I knew my
 children were okay.  They had never been picked up from school and day care.  I was
asked who should pick them up.  I had difficulty remembering people's last
names--much less phone numbers.  I was being asked questions by various
officers--questions like "do you know of anyone that might do this to your wife?" and I
was doing my best to answer them.  Everybody was very, very serious.  Everybody.
A Live Eye satellite truck appeared.  A crowd gathered at the road.  The Decatur Daily
was taking telephotos of me, without me knowing.  I was asked to give a colleague  
permission to inform my children of Karen's murder--to prevent them from seeing it on
TV.  Initially, I said no--that I had to be the one to tell them.  But I was told it wasn't an
option, and that unless I gave permission, they would hear it on TV.  It was all over
TV--live.  So I gave permission. And I sat.  In a police car.

The First Eight Hours:
It got dark.  It started to rain.  Several hours passed.  I had strange thoughts in my
head--like wondering how I would clean up the blood, like how my friend would miss us
at The Sound of Music that night.  I thought a sexually sadistic serial killer had come to
my house.  I had thoughts of my children, whom I thought already knew about their
mother's murder... and I couldn't even be with them.  Flashbulbs were going off in the
I have never been more alone in my life.

I was eventually taken to the garage and questioned. They asked my permission to
search the rest of the house--not just the crime scene.  I gave it.  They asked me to sign
a form agreeing I was under no duress to give permission.  I signed it.  And I was
returned to the car for three or four more hours.
Karen's body was removed from the house in a body bag to a van about thirty feet in
front of me.  I tried not to look, but looked, anyway.

After Midnight:
I was questioned again about every step I took when I arrived home.  I was taken
through the house.  I retraced my steps two different times, each time telling every
thought in my head and everything I did.  When it was done, I was taken to the police
station and questioned for several hours.
Sometime around 3:30am I was told I was free to go.  I asked them to take me back to
the house, to my vehicle.  I went back into the house and hurriedly threw a few things in
a suitcase for the girls, and a change of clothes for me.  On the way out, with no idea
where I was going, I noticed the answering machine.  The first message was from
Caroline, giggling, and saying, "Mommy, you forgot to pick me up."  The second
message was from a friend, saying they'd heard the news, and to call them when I
could.  I called, and agreed to come to their house.  I drove about 25 minutes in a
pouring rain.  I stopped at Mapco to buy cigarettes, and saw a copy of the Daily:  
Doctor's Wife Found Dead.  The nice lady gave me a copy, having no idea who I was.

I got to my friends' house about 4:30am.  They asked me what had happened to Karen.  
I said, "Helter Skelter."
I learned the children didn't know their mother was dead after all.  I was glad.  It needed
to come from me.  I just didn't know how to do it.

I managed to go to sleep about 7:30 that morning.